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Bafana job attracts all-sorts


Oh Jimmy. . . Former Chelsea striker Floyd Hasselbaink has joined a beeline of foreign coaches seeking to score the Bafana Bafana post. The question is does he qualify?

As the serious football nations prepare for the start of the 2014 World Cup on Thursday, we in South Africa continue taking care of the troubles of our national team, Bafana Bafana. This time they have no coach, and applications are streaming into SA Football Association's offices. Safa,  though they have been exposed to be under-qualified for this task, hold the right to choose. So, for the rest of us we can only amuse ourselves with opinions about some of the confirmed applicants.

Pim Verbeek - He's called Pim because he was born Peter Tim (and also Dirk) in Rotterdam, Netherlands. Apart from a largely anonymous stint as a player in the Dutch league, as coach Verbeek has dressed himself in glory largely for being the assistant coach.  Fair enough, he was at the helm when Australia qualified for the 2010 tournament in South Africa. But he stunned by sending the Socceroos in without a striker against Germany, and duly received a 4-0 lashing in their opening match. After absorbing acerbic criticism back home, Verbeek fielded strikers in their next two matches, earning a 1-1 draw with Ghana and defeating Serbia 2-1. They did not advance, though. The 4-0 messed up their goal difference. He's now the youth coach for Morocco's junior teams. Verdict: Not for Bafana

Roberto Carlos - Exciting player to watch during his playing days, for Real Madrid and Brazil. I don't know much about his coaching career but I know his countrymen took advantage of our naivety, pretending to be working while pocketing millions over shot periods. Given his youth, Roberto Carlos will be suitable for the SA U20 team. He's never coached a national team anywhere. Verdic: Not for Bafana
Juan Ramon Lopez - I don't know him - or them. There are two Spanish former players who are now coaches, who go by that name. One has Caro, 51, as the maternal surname, and the other Muniz, 45. Verdict: Not for Bafana

David Moyes - He's good man, can take hardship. But I look at his face, I see sorrow. How is he going to inspire an equaly sorrowful entity called Bafana Bafana. I have so much pity for guys who are ready to suffer, than want to claim glory for themselves. Moyes was mistreated by Manchester United, but he does need Bafana at this stage. Verdict: No

Giovanni Trapattoni - The Italian journeyman is now doing stress-free retirement job in Rome - for the Vatican City national team! Who would have believed it, that there's more to the Vatican than monks and cardinals! At 75, Trapattoni is still sharp all right. But Bafana are a different beast. Verdict: No
Herve Renard - I went shopping for white shirts because of his fashion style. More like PR guru with extreme sports small business on the side, Renard may just be the guy the vainly fashion-conscious SA players want. His passion carried unfancied Zambia to new heights, winning the 2010 Africa Cup of Nations. Verdict: Yes

Vladislav Heric - Long before him we had one Walter Rautmann, football firemen who are prepared to jump into a mess coaches with silky suits would not dare. Heric is supposed to be a folk hero for South Africa's football backwaters. This is where the Serbian-born coach goes to help unfancied clubs with minimal resources to gain promotion to the elite league. Curiously when he had achieved that, he gets dumped, the latest being Chippa United last month. Dogged tenacity is what Heric gives; it is written in his face. With him any no-hoper performs. Verdict: Yes for Bafana (I want to add that he won't be considered because he is not glamorous enough for Safa.)

Ruud Krol - I loved very much when he was with my club Orlando Pirates. He found a team  which no longer knew what it meant to be champion. A former international defender of high repute, the Dutchman first sorted the messy Pirates defence. Once that was sorted, he whipped the attacking players into workhorses. Results, three trophies in one season, including the PSL championship. On the day we, the Buccaneers, were celebrating the championship at Orlando Stadium, a the end of the must-win match against Lamontville Golden Arrows, the decision to fire Krol had already been made. Shucks. Verdict: Yes, Yes

Marcel Desailly - Apart from his role in various organisations for human rights and development, Ghana-born former captain of France is football pundit on TV. He was here in 2010 doing work for ITV. As a coach I never heard a thing about Desailly. Verdict: No

Floyd Hasselbaink - If only Bafana strikers could be as forceful as the former Chelsea forward we would be talking something else now. Well Jimmy Floyd is in his first coaching job, with Antwerp in the Belgian second division since last year. The Suriname-born Dutchman is not doing badly because in his first season Antwerp finished seventh in the league last month. Verdict: No

Dick Advocaat - Nice name, sounds like my favourite fruit avocado. Another Dutchman, albeit with a long, long career with notable successes all over the world, including Russia and UAE. Highly confident personality, with assuring presence and words, the kind of guy you feel you can't lose when fighting alongside him. Verdict: Yes

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